


Darcy Lewis, Science-Rangler with a Screen-Writer

by Queer_Queen



Series: Darcy Lewis AUs [1]
Category: Deadpool (Comics), Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Darcy Lewis-centric, Gen, Headcanon, Mutant!Darcy, No pairing - Freeform, sort of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 08:10:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8883412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queer_Queen/pseuds/Queer_Queen
Summary: "Darcy is seven when she realizes that other people can’t see what she sees."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Guess Darcy's mutant power.
> 
> also hey, for anyone who saw that giant oops, sorry for polluting your eyes, i've fixed it now!

Darcy is seven when she realizes that other people can’t see what she sees.

Which, honestly, is good for them. She’s super jealous.

<No you’re not.>

Yes she _IS_ dammit … well … most of the time. It’s kind of nice to see the future.

<Okay, you are clearly obfuscating right now.>

“You don’t even know what that word means!” Her angry cry shocks Erik out of his current science funk, he glances over, curious, at his protegeé’s clearly eccentric assistant, before going back to his SCIENCE!

Erik thinks of Jane as his protege? Darcy was surprised, Janey was very clearly one thousand times brainier than Erik AND she had only known him for like three years before she went on her madcap SCIENCE! adventure with him and Darcy. “Why does he think I’m eccentric. Also, I’ve already asked this question before, haven’t I?”

<So you don’t get shipped off to a sanitarium. And yes, you have, but for the interest of obfuscating I am including it in our dialogue.>

“But while Janey is oblivious Erik is kind of …” She pauses, trying to find a better term than ‘people-smart’, because that is probably not the best choice for one of her two favourite crazy geniuses. Her thoughts are derailed as Erik Selvig, brilliant genius, moves further into her view and she realizes he’s not wearing pants.

“Really?”

<At that same moment J.A.R.V.I.S, Just A Rather Very Intelligent System, created by mad genius billionaire Tony Stark, alerted Natasha Romanoff, aka Black Widow, and Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye, over intern Lewis’s once again strange behaviour. Over the last few weeks they had been compiling reports on every member of the tower, and had recruited the efforts of Tony Stark and J.A.R.V.I.S to help them. Of the twenty or so alarming individuals, Miss Darcy Lewis was the only one to not have been permanently neutralized after the report was completed. Now J.A.R.V.I.S had been set up to alert the two super spies to whenever Lewis appeared to be ‘acting strangely’, or in Stark’s terms ‘like some kind of damn ghost-whisperer’.>

Darcy focused all her attention on ignoring the script cues, as they could have fucking warned her before this fucking second, goddamit!

<It’s for plot, my dear.>

Stalking over to check on the coffee pot, she began brewing a fresh mug while vehemently cursing having the stupidest mutant power in existence.

<I hardly think the _gift_ you have been given can count as stupid, besides at least you only have to talk to me!>

And just as Romanoff and Barton entered the lab the North wall exploded off it’s hinges. “DON’T TALK ABOUT MY SPEECH BUBBLES THAT WAY!!!”

<Not **_this_ ** idiot. >

“Before anyone could react the Merc with the Mouth, Deadpool, the most glorious anti-villain in Marvel’s history, quickly scooped up the young heroine so they could go chat over chimichangas about their damn authors!” The scream echoed through the tower before Deadpool dragged Darcy back through the wall where he quickly jumped from the 50th story window.

Darcy barely noticed what Deadpool said next because she was screaming too hard, “Catch me Spidey!”

“Fuck! Deadpool! Why do you always get me into these things!”

Romanoff and Barton were left staring as Spideman carted off Deadpool and Thor’s girlfriend’s assistant.

“Wow.”  was all Bartn could say, before he quickly looked for Romanoff, only to find a post-it, stuck to what was left of the window.

_You’re telling Fury._

The anguished howl could barely be heard from Mama Marlene's Chimicanga stall.

“Wait! Don’t end yet! Spiderman, gimme your phone!”

“Wha-”

Deadpool chuckled, “Nah bae, I got this,” and then he cleared his throat, “Obfuscate, defined as render obscure, unclear, or unintelligible.”

Darcy’s middle finger slowly raised to point at the sky.

Deadpool soon joined her.

Spiderman stood to the side staring. Oh god. There were two of them.

**Author's Note:**

> If you guessed AU where Darcy has Deadpool's super duper script-chatting powers than YOU WERE RIGHT!
> 
> Well the writing isn't exactly up to my usual standards, but if I started to describe too much it would slow down AND it wouldn't make sense bc that's the job


End file.
